Teehee!

Rogue Scientist Has Own Scientific Method

TALAHASSEE, FL-The 44-year-old maverick says groundbreaking results require flexibility and creativity, not meticulous planning and observation.

Shhh

In case you're wondering why I've been so quiet, it's because I'm trying to channel all my creative writing energy elsewhere.

I've managed to arrange a regular slot in a column in a local gaming magazine, plus I'm trying really hard to write my book.

You guys can buy it when I'm done and catch up on all the daily doses of 01 that you've missed out on in the interim.

Radio quiz shows

A little piece of advice:

If you're stupid, don't call in for radio quiz shows.

As a general rule, the questions on radio quiz shows aren't very difficult, but stupid people will still not know the answer. When a stupid person phones in and gets an easy question wrong it just pisses the rest of us off, because you've wasted someone else's chance of winning that prize (however meager it may have been).

If you don't know the difference between the pyramids and stonehenge, maybe you shouldn't phone in for a quiz show about famous tourist destinations. Maybe you should spend that time reading a goddam book instead.

Instead of leaving your DSTV permanently tuned to E! or goddam Supersport 75, maybe you should watch a little Discovery Channel from time to time... just have it on in the background.

If that doesn't appeal to you, then kindly refrain from calling in to radio quiz shows. You don't see fat people trying to win the Comrades do you? No. Because they would just embarrass themselves. The same goes for you and quizzes... don't bother, okay? Leave it to the brainy folk rather.

I knew it!

It turns out that we may already have the solution to violent crime: action movies, Coca-Cola and Internet porn!

Seriously! http://www.slate.com/id/2152487/

I would love to see a similar study looking at the effects of violent video games on the would-be perpetrators of violent crime.

It is a monumentous day indeed

Today I celebrate the first anniversary of the day the Most Amazing Person in the Universe agreed to become the Most Amazing Girlfriend in the Universe.

A year later I still can’t believe my luck: not only did she agree to be my girlfriend, but she has continued to hold that title. And what’s more, yesterday we “announced” to my family that we’re in the process of planning our wedding!

What the hell happened?

A little over a year ago I was single, miserable and on a road to nowhere in particular. Now I’m almost engaged, deliriously happy, and have a set of real goals… some of which have already been accomplished! And what was the catalyst that changed all of that? Hide.

Thank you for being with me. You’ve saved my life by making it worth living. I owe you so much, but all I have to offer is to spend the rest of my life trying to make yours as easy as possible. I love you.

From Randi's SWIFT newsletter

He pasted it from somewhere else... it's pretty cool:

Top Ten indications that you’re over-obsessed with religion:

#10 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

#9 – You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that humans were created from dirt.

#8 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

#7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the male first-born babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" – including women, children, and trees.

#6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods consorting with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

#5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is about a couple of generations old.

#4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs – though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering, and yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

#3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor “speaking in tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" your choice of religions to be the correct one.

#2 – You define .01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers, and consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% failure was simply the will of God.

#1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but you still call yourself a Christian.

I hate natural stuff

That’s right, I hate “natural” stuff. Anything that’s “natural” I want no truck with.

Natural stuff is stupid and totally gay.

If you’re trying to give me something containing “all natural ingredients” I will throw it at your head. And then I will shout at you.

When I go shopping, I stay the hell away from anything containing anything natural. I head straight for the “non-natural” isle, which contains a great deal of non-existence.

That’s right, non-existence!

That’s because anything and everything that exists is part of nature, and is therefore natural. Whether it’s soy-beans or polypropylene, it’s all natural. I spit on natural things! Spit!

Give me a tall, cool glass of absolute non-existence please!

And don’t get clever handing me a glass of air. Air is natural! And if you think you’re going to be even cleverer and hand me a glass that all the air has been sucked out of, that won’t do either! A vacuum is part of nature too!

Where do you have to go to get good service around here? Sheesh!

Diwali (aka Deepavali)

“festival of lights” in the Hindu faith.

It celebrates several important events in their mythology, but the “lights” part comes from celebrating the “inner light” which is a pivotal part of the Hindu faith.

Our Hindu neighbours had a Diwali party on Saturday night, setting off cracker after cracker, scaring the bejeesus out of out poor dogs.

I see no reason why it should be celebrated with fireworks. Sure, there are pretty lights and all, but the loud bangs are not part of the celebration, and they are the part that is problematic. In the 21st century there is absolutely no excuse for setting off explosives in a high-density residential area that is populated not only by many non-Hindu humans, but also by several species of domestic animals, some of which have far more sensitive hearing than we have.

If you want to celebrate light, get some lights. You can get some nifty ones too… strings of colour-changing lights like the ones Christians use to decorate trees at Christmas. Get laser pointers and all sorts of cool little light-emitting toys and baubles that don’t make a sound… they can be bought at just about any toy shop for far less than the cost of a box of fireworks. And they are legal and are not antisocial.

I’m not just bashing Hindus here. The same goes everyone who likes to set off explosives at Guy Fawkes Day and New Years Eve.

We haven’t been a British colony for decades now. Why the hell are we still celebrating Guy Fawkes Day? And New Years’ Eve… not a year goes by without the news telling us of far too many injuries and even deaths resulting from shitfaced macho-men trying to use deadly weapons “safely”.

It clearly isn’t enough to ban these things. There needs to be far more police enforcement of it. And it’s not exactly difficult, either: just drive around residential areas on those nights and look for flares… follow the flare and slap on the cuffs.

It’s not rocket-science!

Affirmations

After reading a recent post on Scott Adams’ blog on the subject, I’ve spent some time thinking about affirmations (the practice of regularly writing down or chanting a mantra or phrase relating to a seemingly distant goal).

Of course the woo-woo fringe like to think that by repeatedly expressing your goal, you’re sending positive “energy” out into the universe that will summon a magical winged leprechaun who will come and shake a stick at you, making your wildest dreams come true. Or something.

Suffice to say, I don’t think that is the case.

However I have read several studies on the effectiveness of affirmations. I don’t know how good those studies were, or how much confirmation bias had to do with the results, but I can see the logic behind why something like this might work.

Adams subscribes to the theory that affirmations allow the user to focus his or her attention, thus making them more able to recognise opportunities… some kind of self-hypnosis. I suspect that may be a contributing factor, but I don’t think that’s all there is to it.

I think it’s more a self-programming technique. The sheer repetition of it is enough to ensure that whatever your goal is, it’s going to be on your mind, even if it’s at the back of your mind, for most of the time. The more you think about it, the more time you have to consider your options and to figure out ways of achieving that goal.

Once you’ve figured out what you need to do to achieve the goal, you’re half-way there. It’s easy to recognise the opportunities when you know exactly what you’re looking for.

I also think that the sort of people who would commit themselves to constant repetition of an important goal over any length of time are the sort of people who are likely to be goal-oriented people… the sort of people who get things done anyway.

So, I’m going to give it a shot. I have chosen an important, but seemingly distant goal, and I’m going to type out a simple and direct phrase on my cellphone every hour, on the hour, during the day, every day, for the next six months. It’s not an impossible goal, just a difficult one that I don’t know how I’ll be able to accomplish just yet.

If after six months I haven’t managed to at least take some significant steps towards achieving that goal (assuming I’m able to keep up the typing for that long), I think I’ll be able to safely say that affirmations are not all they’re cracked up to be.

The dumbest thing I’ve ever heard

One of my favourite comedians is Lewis Black. In one of his shows he mentions that the dumbest thing he’s every heard was some strange girl at the International House of Pancakes telling her friend “If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.”

Yeah, that’s what I said. I have a story like that as well.

One evening I was at a casual dinner party at a friend’s house. One of the other guests was a young fellow who took endless pleasure in bragging about how hard he could “party”. You know the sort.

During the course of the evening he let rip with this little nugget:
“I won’t give money to the Salvation Army. I saw this documentary about how they are sending troops to Ivory Coast to support the rebels in the civil war.”

I’ll give you a moment to roll that around in your head for a bit.

Ready? Okay.

In the interests of promoting reader interaction, I invite you all to tell us the story of the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard.

And… go!