When I take over the world – Part 1

You thought I was kidding about that, didn’t you?

Fact is I’ve put a lot of thought into it. In my mind I’ve drawn up plans for a virtually utopian society where all mundane tasks and decisions are taken care of on your behalf, thus allowing you the opportunity to spend your time and mental bandwidth on truly worthwhile pursuits like art, philosophy or science.

One of the ways I’ll accomplish this is through automation. I’ll replace all public servants (with the exception of teachers and some police personnel) with an enormous Computer.

I’ll go into more details about that in a later post, this post is about one particular function that computer will carry out: arranged marriages.

This Computer will contain a comprehensive amount of information about every single person on the planet – not just gender and date of birth – it’ll include the results of every test you took at school, the names of all your classmates, the URL of every website you’ve ever visited, the email address of every person you’ve ever made contact with, your medical history and genetic profile and so on… far more information than any dating website has.

When you reach the age of 21 (or whatever predetermined age I decide on) the Computer runs a complex, carefully designed algorithm comparing your personal history with everyone else’s. This process will eventually result in the selection of one candidate who is ideally suited to you. The Computer will register the marriage, and reassign both of you to the same residential unit. (yeah, my new society will be roughly Communist, nobody will actually own any property. Living quarters will be assigned to each person by the Computer according to their requirements)

I should imagine that part of the algorithm will ensure that the two of you have met and had correspondence before, so you won’t be shacking up with a complete stranger. I should think that common friends and experiences would make for a stronger match… but I’m no expert. I’ll leave that decision until I have the advice of an expert to consult.

I reckon that’s a way better way of doing it. Eliminating all the guess-work from relationships seems like a brilliant plan. No more awkward first-dates, no more trying to decide who makes the first move, no more divorces… everyone can just relax and let the Computer take care of it.

Now, doesn’t that sound cool?

I would appreciate some opinions about all this… it’ll help me refine my plans.