Friday, December 28, 2007

My Predictions for 2008

It's that time of year when all kinds of bat-shit insane people psychics, prophets and soothsayers come out of the woodwork making all sorts of psychic predictions about the coming year. Some of them come true. Most of them don't.

Making general and vague predictions is easy. In the interests of proving that no psychic powers are necessary to make a list of predictions with a relatively high hit-rate, I will employ my modest intellect, general knowledge and Wikipedia to produce twenty two predictions for the year 2008 CE (as per the Gregorian Calendar).

A year from now, I'll come back to these predictions and we'll make a tally of how many I got right. We can then compare my score to that of a psychic (or more than one) and see how I perform relative to them. I don't have a particular psychic in mind, so if you'd like to suggest some, please leave a comment.

When it comes to the nasty ones I hope I'll be wrong, but I don't expect to be.

1. The winner of the United States presidential election will be a tall, good-looking man. Or will at least be the tallest and/or best-looking of the available candidates. He will be a Church-going Christian.
2. Scientists will make startling new discoveries about Dark Matter and/or Dark Energy that will threaten to overturn our understanding of the cosmos.
3. The South-East coastal regions of the United States will be lashed by several severe storms during the summer.
4. Many people will be left homeless and some will be killed in Gauteng, Limpopo, Mpumalanga and parts of Mozambique in the first quarter of the year as a result of floods.
5. Hundreds, possibly thousands of people will die in natural disasters (such as volcanic eruptions, earthquakes or tsunami) in the Pacific regions and parts of the Middle-East.
6. Danie Krugel will not acknowledge our challenge.
7. Astronomers will discover many new exoplanets and identify several new places where life might exist.
8. I will complete my 29th trip around the sun.
9. The petrol price will increase substantially after the oil price increases.
10.The petrol price will increase substantially after the oil price decreases.
11. The petrol price will increase substantially after the Rand/Dollar exchange rate improves.
12. The petrol price will increase substantially after the exchange rate worsens.
13. A prominent South African government official will be accused of fraud or misappropriation of funds, but those accusations will disappear and never result in formal charges.
14. A formerly obscure website will suddenly become very popular, prompting "experts" to claim that it will drastically change the way we communicate or do business.
15. It will not substantially affect the way we communicate or do business.
16. The South African Reserve Bank will increase the prime lending rate.
17. It will be revealed that Iran was never attempting to produce nuclear weapons. This will not prevent President Bush from claiming that Iran is a major threat.
18. A number of people will be trampled to death by a crowd in Saudi Arabia in the last weeks of the year.
19. Israel will engage in violent encounters with its neighbours. There will be casualties on both sides, but Israel will report that they have fewer than the other side.
20. The flying car will not be released to the consumer market.
21. A woman in either North Africa or the Middle East will be treated to unfathomable cruelty after breaking an oppressive and misogynistic law. She will then be pardoned after significant international pressure is exerted on her government. The law will not be changed.
22. The world as we know it will not end.

There you have it. Stay away from those bad places, or be careful if you can't avoid them. Have a safe and pleasant 2008!