Hooray for boobies

You know what, I'm not going to deny it. I like boobies. I am a fan of human mammary glands. I like milk, but I like the packaging even more

I read somewhere that by looking at breasts for ten minutes a day I could help prevent heart disease. I don't know how true it is, but I'm not going to argue

Tonight I was pleasantly surprised. I went to a friend's birthday thing, which was a stand-up comedy show. What I didn't know was that before the comedy started, there was an hour long dance... uh... show

It was nothing lewd, all very tasteful. But they were topless a lot of the time. Excellent

I may not be a fan of strip joints, but the truth is everything seems better on the other side of boobies. And since I don't have a girlfriend's breasts to look at, I have to take them where I can get them

Suddenly my life doesn't seem so bleak

Stop judging me. I'm single. I'm allowed to like boobies.