This is a theory I have recently encountered, and I believe it to be quite logical. It’s obviously over-simplified, and it only really applies to the first few months of the relationship, but I think it’s a good thing to keep in mind.
It goes like this:
There are two major factors to any romantic relationship:
1. Conversation
2. Sex
This means there are three types of relationships:
Type 1: Physical. In this type, the conversation is something that is viewed by one or both parties as something you have to sit through in order to get to the sex. These relationships are doomed to failure as they have no substantial foundation.
Type 2: Intellectual. This is where there is stimulating and enjoyable conversation, but the sex is unrewarding for one or both parties. These are the relationships that are most likely to end up as “just friends”.
Type 3: Perfect. This is where the conversation and sex are equally enjoyable for both parties. This is a person you should marry.
Like I said, it’s very simplistic, but pretty accurate, wouldn’t you say?
I reckon if you find yourself a Type 3 you should fight for it. Do whatever you can to hold onto it, because you don’t get those every day. And if you let it slip away, odds are you’ll regret it… possibly for the rest of your life.
Agreed. It is rare that one finds someone that satisfies (a-hem!) in both departments. So one should not let go to quickly if you have that, but are faced with other obstacles.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think most of us will participate in relationships within these three types in our love-lives...
ReplyDeleteI’ve experienced various degrees of all three situations… Unfortunately, because something starts out on the “Perfect” type there is still a chance that things might change and the type classification is adjusted (normally the sex deteriorates – people get bored). I, being quite the pessimistic type, believe that things don’t happen without hard work.
Although – it has to be said that too much work and no play will also ruin things. As with most things – balance is the keyword here.
I have been very lucky to have met some one at my age (when people are normally still finding their feet on the love scene) who meets all my criteria and blows my mind away all of the time. There are still days when I think of Picto and get butterflies. And for me, that’s a definite sign that things will remain balanced and both of us will be remaining in this category.
Agreed, maintaining the balance is vital. That's all part of fighting for it.
ReplyDeleteIf you've found the Type 3 it's up to both of you to make sure the conversation stays interesting and the sex doesn't get stale.
Although, I reckon once you've gotten to that stage there are otehr factors at play. That's when you start thinking about future plans, families, and more developed attachment to each other.
That taken into consideration, I think it's essential to keep the two initial factors strong, because they form the foundation of your longing to be together. Allow these to falter, and the rest can start to crumble.
I agree with you that it takes work. No-one ever said relationships were easy, and like everything else in life you get out what you put in.